Need Motivation After Quarantine? Try Self Compassion

Coming out of quarantine can get us excited and even inspire many of us to take the first step. Conversely, pressure from these new goals can also lead to anxiety, anxiety, and harsh self-criticism. We are likely to engage in negative self-talk that I may feel like ... "not enough" "lose enough" "enough effort" or "enough work". It is not long ago when our brains readily interpret that "I am not enough." It is a slippery slope.
Pause for a moment Take a second to ask yourself, would I ever tell my best friend, brother, or your child better that "You are not enough?" no at all. Why? Because we have compassion for them, we have sympathy for them, because we really care about their feelings. Now ask, why is it so easy for me to say this? The answer is simple. The reason for this is that you lack compassion for the 

person who matters most in your life, you. Unfortunately, absolutely every human being on this planet has hunted himself. This is our most common humanity. Not only are we naturally afraid of the decisions of others, I believe in our hearts or hearts, the decision that we fear most comes from ourselves.

 We are often our own worst critics. Many of us are also taught from a young age that this type of self-pressure or verbal outbreak is exactly what we need to motivate ourselves and even succeed in life. When in scientific fact, the exact opposite is true. It is kindness, understanding, empathy, and compassion for oneself that helps you perform better not in your criticisms but in actions.
So, how do you feel kind to yourself?

1. Don't beat yourself up for beating.

You are new to this concept. we are all. It is a novel idea of ??almost all Western societies. Take a position as a lifelong student. It is like learning a new language, you will undoubtedly make mistakes. Just live with it.

2. Practice. Practice. Practice (when you can).

Everyone builds habits after different times. For example, research says that some people may lose their habit in 18 days and some in 254 days. Either way, the more you practice, the easier you will be able to integrate kindness into a conversation with yourself.
3. It will feel weird when you first start. Make it normal.

Back to the language analogy. When you first try to speak a new language, do you feel 100% confident that your words and grammar are perfect? Probably right there. It is more likely that all your insecurities and self-doubts will continue to mumble. The same is true of the beginning of learning self-compassion. You may think that "this is ridiculous," or "I'm coddling myself". You may 

also fear that if you pity yourself that it will quench your motivation. I am telling you here that none of this is true but it is 100% a normal experience. You can think of giving yourself loving feedback and that is fine. We are conditioned to think like this, but it is time to do some "unlisting". Your task now is to notice resistance with a sense of fickle curiosity and let it down a bit. Continue trying day after day until it feels uncomfortable. 

4. Think of the most compassionate responses you have ever received. Log them.
It did not come naturally to me. As kind as I am with others, my self-compassion lexicon was the equivalent of a rock. I had not the slightest clue where to begin. Then I started thinking about the kindest people I knew and had a mental mind that they did not achieve their goals when they made mistakes, or they did not succeed. Another way is to ask yourself, "If this was happening to my significant other or best friend, what would I tell them?" When you are learning this language for the first time, remove yourself from this equation, this way is very easy (trust me).

5. Keep daily reminders in your phone that promote self-pity and validate your feelings.

Cell phones can be effective devices ... sometimes. Reminders can be scheduled to occur daily, weekly or monthly. Set a simple reminder, which can become your mantra, for example, "It's not easy, I'm doing the best I can and that's always enough."

be happy,

Dr. Of


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